Life is an Art Form

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Endlessly creative

Cheated today, left my “morning” pages till the very evening. But it’s ok, I have a good excuse, which I am not going to disclose here. But it was definitely worth it. At least I am writing, I was deliberating for a long time whether to take a “well deserved” break for a day.

I am really outdoing myself on the cooking front. Raw cooking for a year was a fun adventure, but now expanding to “normal” cooking also – my God the possibilities are endless. I have made 5 types of pizzas yesterday with varieties like mushroom/pesto/goat’s cheese or goat’s cheese/artichoke hearts/sun-dried tomatoes or tomato/basil/olive/mozzarella - oh my, it was a treat! I will be a healthy gourmet home cook before long. I was called “endlessly creative” then – my ego was beside itself with glee.

I am continuously being blown away by the Book of Secrets. The only reason I have not created a separate Quotes post to jot down pearl of wisdom from that book is because every single paragraph is so dense with meaning that I would probably end up transcribing the book verbatim, like it happened last year while reading Krishnamurti’s Mirror of Relationship. And at 1000+ pages long that would be a lot of quoting/transcribing. So it is easier to just supply a link to the actual manuscript, kindly provided by my friend who has urged me to read the book and is currently reading, quoting and providing his own commentary on it here.

Yesterday I have read the first few breath meditations and the ones about sex (read or listen to 48, 49, 50 here)  The breath awareness was never my forte so no major illuminations there (and no wonder most mainstream meditation methods have never worked for me). But the methods around the sexual act have given me a number of affirmations of my own personal experiences and even an answer to the question “Is there even anything beyond this level?” that I have asked myself just the other day, having reached what many sex theories dub the pinnacle of orgasmic experience. Needless to say, excited and elated, and happy to explore further.

I can hear the horse drawn carriage pass by outside the window – quite surreal. It is lovely staying so close to the historical centre, the carriages that are aplenty there make their way past the apartment a few times a day – an instant through back a couple of centuries in the past, I can have a whole imagination journey if I close my eyes… and no cars drive by at the same time!

Really, between writing Morning Pages, cooking and studying German, with each activity seeming to take at least a few hours to accomplish, I have very little time to do anything else during the day. That speeding up of time has got me again! No matter how much awareness I bring to the present moment, it flies by way too quickly to accomplish anything else so I am limiting my activities to jus these essentials and squeezing a few pages of the Book before bedtime.

Should I utter the magic words now, after which inevitably some theme worthy of writing springs to mind: I don’t know what to write! And I have 1 more page to go…

Hmm, it didn’t work… still have nothing to say.

Horray! I have used another suggestion of my aforementioned friend and have found and inserted an image related to my post for my dear readers’ subtle visual break from all the text. Now, this is going to sound terribly uncool but – the heart shaped pizza image is sooooo cute!

Oh my God! The worst disaster of all has just struck! I have run out of nail polish remover with one hand full of chipped nail polish still to go, and worse yet, on the eve of Sunday, the day when the shops across the whole Vienna are shut (for that alone, I can’t believe how it managed to consistently make it it into the top of the most liveable cities on Earth). Wow, I just read the list myself for the first time – what is Adelaide doing on it anyway?? I guess I will have to visit to find out, but I have never heard anyone say a single good thing about it, but heard a few “it’s boring” type comments. And it looks like I will have to make a point of properly visiting Canada sometimes soon to be able to say with absolute certainty: “I have visited the top 10 most liveable cities in the world and I find that… Vanuatu is still better” :-p


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In the present moment

Hello morning pages, it has been a while. I was going to put you off for another day making up some “I don’t feel like it” excuse but there is an interesting contradictory feeling inside of me: part of me does not want to write, but another part keeps egging me on “That’s precisely why you should write them – because you don’t want to!” Indeed it feels the second part is right, I usually stop doing anything at the point where I no longer feel like it, and probably miss out on the growth and breakthrough to the next level that usually follows such slumps in motivation. So here I am, writing away, with no idea about what, as usual…



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I am finding myself resting increasingly more frequently in the pleasure of the present moment. Like right now, with a pot of freshly brewed tea and a door wide open to the chilly inner city garden, wrapped in blanket… simply “Ahhhh…” I really don’t need much else to be happy. But as I was pondering lately, the journey that inevitably brings me to the simple pleasures of life is one of multitude of experiences. It will not do to say to someone who has not seen or done much to live simply, as they would think that true happiness is behind the next thing or experience. But having had plenty of things and experiences, I can now simply rest in the present moment.

 

I could not finish the morning pages, not that day, not the next, not the following. Here is a short video I filmed that day, which goes to further show how at the moment I find myself with absolutely nothing to say.

 


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Transforming pain, guilt and shame into pleasure – Dark Eros course notes

My course notes from Dark Eros course. I recommend reviewing John’s video introduction and notes that follow it first and then coming back and reading the notes below as they will make more sense then..

There is only one type of energy but there can be different forms that energy takes: abuse, sexuality, power, consciousness, bliss.

If we stop repressing the energy and its various expressions and accept all forms in us (NOT the attitude of “I am better than that, I don’t do that”) then we can have control and choice over what form that energy takes. Thus we accept and integrate our shadow and can then choose whatever expression we like for it. But we can not live in the light by repressing and denying the shadow.

If we accept our shadow: yes, I have it, and, moreover, it excites me. We can then express it with light and consciousness.

The current system is: you are not allowed pleasure, but you allowed to be moral. You are not allowed to punish for pleasure, but allowed when it is justified by the moral (deserved punishment). This way erotic punishment is fooling the brain that we are doing it because of duty while receiving pleasure. When we become so enlightened that punishment is no longer a theme in your life in either direction, then you can drop the pretense and just enjoy it for pleasure.

We start punishing in subtle energy withdrawals from others. So the first reversal step is to come out and punish openly. Second step – openly enjoy it and do it through contact. Third step is to allow the person receiving it to enjoy the pleasure of it. At this stage the punishment disappears and only pleasure of contact and erotic play remains. Thus we are feeding the old patterns of wanting to punish and be punished and they transform. This way erotic punishment serves a healing role – serious fun.

Whether we experience intensity as pain or pleasure depends on our energy. If we are in high energy we will experience intensity from the outside as please. Otherwise as pain. If we are full of energy, energy from the outside will add to it. If we are empty, outside intensity will further deplete it.

The key is to know: where I am in my energy? Can I charge up my energy body and experience pleasure? Or am I empty and low on energy so that everything and anything will abuse me.

We will learn the technique for taking charge of our energetic state so that we can meet the world and engage with it.

Manipulation is not something done by one to another but is a two people dance.

On the surface it seems that dominant person has the power, but at a deeper level it is the submissive who has the power. It is the submissive who says “yes”, “no” and the dominant one doing all the work and giving the other person pleasure.

The key is to become one with your power. While you only observe it, play with it, explore it – there is a gap between you and the power. It is that gap that is the problem. But once you totally disappear into your power and become one with it, it will self regulate and express through heart and spirit. At our core we are heartfelt warriors.

3 strands of dark Eros:

  1. Psychological. This helps understand the diversions/repressions of our energy through fear, shame
  2. Empowerment. Reclaiming our energy and exploring giving power to each other in an energetic system where we build each other up rather than push each other down. Power in relationship.
  3. Pure energy. Where we are doing magic alchemy with each other’s energy. We are charging the energy body and moving into altered states of consciousness through Dark Eros techniques.

Stages of sexual development:

1. Born. Ocular phase of sexuality. World comes in through wide open eyes. If what comes in is welcoming, loving, then you decide – this planet is the best place to be! You make your body home and planet home. If what comes in is cold and unloving, then you don’t incarnate fully – half in body half out.

2. Oral phase. World comes in through mouth, skin contact. Even though you are physically separate you form an energetic bond with your mother’s breast. Taking in nourishment not only through the mouth but the whole skin, melting into the body. Ideally ability to melt is experienced with the father as well as the mother, so it does not depend on the sex of the giver. If that is not provided, then your body goes into survival shock mode and results in feelings of survival, loneliness, “safe” mode where you shut down all your needs where the needs aren’t meant. Everything is shut down to the minimum for survival.

2. Anal phase (overlaps with the above for 4-5 years). The energy comes down to the base of the spine – in the base chakra – perineum and anus. This phase is about the excitement of being yourself and the other being the other. So instead of excitement being melting as in oral, excitement is in being separate, in the difference between me and the other. Energy comes in the feet and the eyes. The excitement is in challenging, provoking. Since parent is the authority, to experience yourself as separate, you automatically need to defy them to experience yourself as separate from their rules and will for you. So the excitement is in transgression – in breaking rules, in being naughty. That is what is needed to further develop sexuality. So for those of us who were good – we became sexless. So you recover that energy you need to transgress.

How can this go right way? The child is naughty, the parent affirms the naughtiness- yes you have been naughty, it has consequences/punishment, but I still love you.

How can this go wrong? If there are no boundaries or rules to transgress (very liberal household) it is not good for the child as they can’t feel the energy of transgression.

Another way it can go wrong is if the child’s naughtiness provokes an exaggerated response that is existentially threatening. Them the child does not feel naughty, but bad. It can be acted out as physical violence towards the child which feels fearful and intimidating. The child thinks “omg! I have the power to make my parent loose control! To turn them into a monster” it is not possible for the child that the parent is a monster, that would be too existentially threatening for them to contemplate, so the conclusion is that it’s the power inside the child which is to be feared which turns their parent into a monster temporarily. So your story becomes: it’s fearful out there – constant anxiety as the rage mine can explode at any time – and invariably under YOU. But even more deeply burried is the fear of the deep dark force inside YOU that makes them go off, that force is to be feared worse of all.

Another story – you are bad, will burn in hell or (non religious version) – “how could you disappoint me so much” – and the child dies inside with the residual deep feeling of guilt, that they don’t deserve to live. All because you were not able to be naughty. If you were naughty, you were BAD and rejected.

Erotic role play of transgression is based on the container of love and safety, where one can feel the energy of transgression and provoke the punishment.

Laughter disperses the energy and tension, but unfortunately disperses also the excitement. So try doing the exercises without laughing, chatting. Take your time to relax and be comfortable, remember to treat it as a meditation.

You see every blow of life as outside intensity. And if you can have higher energy charge inside of you already, you can transform it into energy for yourself.

Two types of shame:

  • Toxic unhealthy shame
  • Healthy (you feel a rush, trampling, sadness, your structure is shaken up) – this is a healthy reaction as you become conscious of your unconscious. Instead of apologizing, affirm that you are now conscious of what you have done unconsciously. Both partners learn from it and thus become both winners instead of one person being an apologetic looser and another the winner in the situation. Everyone makes mistakes, and learn from them.

Mistakes medicine wheel:

  1. I allow myself to make mistakes
  2. I learn from my mistakes
  3. I learn from mistakes of others
  4. I learn from mistakes of my teachers
  5. I learn without mistakes


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What is Tantra?

I have asked myself and some friends “What is Tantra?” and got the following responses. Please comment below if that word means anything to you so I can add your response to this small compendium.

For more in-depth view and to form your own understanding, you might wish to review my Spiritual Sexual Shamanism course notes.

 

 

Presence

Integration of divine masculine and feminine inside

Activating and channeling energy

Method of putting more sexual energy into entire body and having it expand into your life in general

tantra is a concept. It can be a symbolic reminder to step into the sensual, expansive experiences of life… it’s a reminder to breathe. It’s a reminder to breath with your pussy, your cock, your unbridled self deservement and self pleasure. Tantra is a way to connect with another that allows you to move into deep entrainment from head to toe and beyond with another human being…

Tantra is a spiritual practice to support waking up. Unlike many traditions it includes our sexuality rather than ignoring it. So doing this ‘work’ can allow us to heal our addictions, see clearly our obsession or repression, and heal our fear, shame and guilt. We can therefore embody our full humaness in order to recognize and realize our wholeness and unity between male/female, within and without, between mind/body/spirit and of course heaven and earth.

Tantra is a lifestyle and it encompasses everything – how we walk, how we talk, how we eat, how we breath, how we sleep, how we love


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Expanded state of awareness

And so it is, gratitude video number 2! All about the expanded state of awareness experience.

And just after I have recorded the video, I come across an article that explains the science behind my experience. Fascinating forces of attention/attraction are as powerful as ever.


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Tantric day

Grateful for:

Building another website after barely getting out of bed. Now I can honestly say I can build them “with my eyes closed”.

Totally zen-nifying the guest room so now its super simple, super sexy and super inviting. Ahhh… I will never want to leave.

Going through the fridge and the cupboards now that everyone has left – it was like a food wonderland discovery tour. Extremely grateful to all the departed apprentices for leaving their food behind :)

Going to the movies! Watching Thor and eating popcorn – ah the simple pleasures of life.

Going on a sunset barefoot hike to the Cathedral Rock – the most photographed rock in Sedona, probably entire USA even. After my last barefoot hike over dry grass and cactus fields this one over large flat rocks was so easy and pleasant. The view from the saddle between two rocks was breathtakingly spectacular.

Having a “tantric” everything day: tantric movie watching, tantric hike, tantric waiting at the checkout line…

Having not 1 but 2 skype conversations with friends today. Considering I usually average about 1 a week this was quite a treat. I notice especially during skype talks that I laugh a lot. Must be growing happier… or sillier.. or both :)

Reading the most succinct powerful article ever on sensuous living, being in the moment, living meditation, etc. Pushed all the right buttons to make me melt – love it when it happens from a piece of writing.

Being called on my negative language patterns. Thank you and please more of that.

Falling in love with Sedona. Yes, I know, AGAIN! But I can’t help it that life takes me to the most beautiful places on Earth and connects me with the most wonderful people, of course I find myself in a permanent state of falling in love. I just need to shift my view on parting to something ecstatically positive from the current heartwrenchingly painful and then I can fully enjoy the “in love” flow.

Had to come back and write in what I got in my dialy horoscope today:

Just before you start packing your bags wait. Please just wait a moment and give life the time to pass on a very important message to you. It’s best that you don’t make any big plans today because there is a change up ahead that won’t cater your plans. It’s best that you simply trust and be patient, allow these changes to take place then if you feel like it, pack your bags. Now is not the time to be going anywhere dear Scorpio and I hope that you take the time to trust these words that are written for you. Your world is shifting in new ways and you need to allow time for these shifts to take place.

~ Ghazaleh Lowe free intuitive horoscopes

Leaving you with a shot from a book that pretty much sums up my view of myself.


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Orgasmic web design services

Grateful for:

Finding a great compact kundalini workout on YouTube that I might even be able to stick with. I have turned into a total energy junkie and since in addition to that I have always been an efficiency junkie, then work out, breathing and energy body activation all in one first thing in the morning sounds like my kind of thing.

Having yet another free breakfast at a friend’s hotel.

Having a conversation that started like so

- So what is your name?

- I am called “Dave”

- That is what you are called, but what is your name? Or do you not want us to know your name? Are you on a run from the authorities?

- No, but it is interesting that you should reflect that to me

- On the run from yourself?

- Oooouuuuuu… now THAT is deep…

Needless to say it was an interesting encounter but what was most interesting about it, is that while our new acquaintance seemed to be saying all the “right” things, to me personally he just did not feel right. Seemed to have too much theatrical mannerisms for someone who spent the greater part of the conversation talking about importance of being authentic and sharing one’s feelings in the moment.

I did take away a great little reminder for myself of no matter what others’ communication and reactions are to my behavior, it is all reflecting something back to me, something I have not yet accepted within myself. But then again, everyone is lost in their own little dream so what they are saying to me or about me is a reflection of something within themselves, not me. Ugh, my brain is hurting, here I am again, banging my  head against the giant door of paradox. Another world is awaiting me on the other side once I manage to make my way through but its bloody painful for a “thinking” type to come to terms with knowing nothing and forever giving up hope of “figuring it out”.

Having a powerful dance session before the class, totally lost my breath and had to dance without it. Hip Swerve ftw – you know who you are! ;)

Having a fun informative session about social networking for practitioners. For once I was even able to chip in a few times from an expert vantage point… that is before I totally fell asleep (damn pillows and blankets, there is no place for them in the classroom!)

Receiving an interesting advise from the presenter to put a personal spin on the teaching tantra business: tantric cooking class, ecstatic bird watching weekend, etc. So…. orgasmic web design services anybody?? :D

Spending the afternoon working, listening to music, swaying to the beat of cacao inside of me, suntanning and trying yet again to set up my iPad a secondary wireless display – all at the SAME time.

I have come up with yet another brilliant idea of setting my “current dreams” slideshow ON constantly while my iPhone is plugged into the iPhone speakers and playing Pandora. Now not only I feed energy to my dreams all day long instead (or better yet in addition to) an intense 30-60 minute visualization sessions, but everyone around me also feeds energy to them by checking them out. Manifestation on steroids – yeeeehaaaaa!

Weird food of today: cinnamon (lots!) and vegetable broth soup. Don’t ask.

Only slightly less weird drink of the day: blenderful (aka super lots) of spinach leaves, handful of cacao, banana and 1.5 scoops of raw protein.

Goddesses are back in the house having (barely) survived their Phoenix experience – delicious apple crumble desert cooked for everyone’s enjoyment.

Freaking moonlighting again – 4 am! Oh well, at least I had fun remembering my last 2 days of life. First I have fun living it, then mkae fun reliving it – can’t really complain but it is time for bed. Lemon and cayan pepper breakfast tomorrow 7.30 am, will probably come back to bed afterwards. Good night!

Oh one last PS – got my laptop adapter in the mail, using my little machine again for the first time in a month! I missed thee but wished I didn’t need thee.


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Spiritual sexual shamanism course notes

6 possible paths:
Awakened consort sacred intimate
Sexual healer
Sex educator
Sex positive community leader
Intimacy, relationship, sex coach
Spiritual guide / shamanic practitioner

Steps to decision making in couples and groups:
first clear the emotional body and feel empathy for everyone the group. Then someone makes a positive suggestions and if no one objects, it gets done. If someone objects then 3 possible rejections are acceptable: counter suggestion (mutually exclusive), refinement to existing suggestion, or asking for a pause (to sit still and meditate before making a decision)

Things aren’t perfect so we are not learning to make them perfect but instead increase our ability to deal with them when they aren’t perfect cause life’s like that.

We have telepathic agreements that for me to be aroused, it is someone else’s responsibility. Self pleasure a lot and take back your power and responsibility for our pleasure and sexual energy and keep that energy flowing. Self pleasure to the edge but don’t orgasm and keep that energy contained as you go about the day.

To come out of the mind and into the body come back to the senses: how does my skin feel, my feet on the ground, smell, what is going on in the body.

When we meet someone of similar energetic pattern we feel like we have known them before and the energies are amplified.

Ideal client practitioner situation is when they are holding a familiar energetic pattern (example: abandonment issues, depression, whatever issue) but the one you are already finished with so you can help them best. Unfamiliar pattern you won’t be able to assist with and the one I am not finished with is going to prevent not getting personal with it and getting sucked in. Universe will bring you a client whose issue is the one you are almost finished with and they are only starting. This way you can go through your own completion while assisting them.

One of the shamanic sayings: it’s a good day to die. Meaning a good day to let go off whatever does not serve us.

As practitioners our main job is to support our clients to feel, own and communicate their desire. Always thank people for asking you whatever their request, thank them for owning their desire. But never do anything you don’t want to do. Thank them for asking and say whatever your boundary is, and say that you can move in that direction and that they can definitely learn a lot from you in the process of moving towards that. Communicate that you might move into It after a few sessions or might never move into it or that you as practitioner don’t move into this with clients. You can then refer them to a practitioner who can

If a resistance comes up in them always ask them to feel into it, feel in their bodies, be present to whatever is going on.

Someone’s NO is a YES for something else. So just lead in with other questions to find what that yes is, hold the space for that yes to appear.

There are Dakas, Dakinis and sexual healers that never touch their clients, that’s just the way they work.

Magic happens when you get totally out of your mind and go with whatever your body is saying yes to. You will find yourself doing things you might never understand and ask “what am I doing” just as you are doing it but that is where magic happens.

Our first and most important relationship is with ourselves and the earth and the divine. Then our beloved, then family, tribe, community, society etc. But I am in relationship with everyone and everything all the time.

If you don’t have deep intimacy with yourself you can’t have deep intimacy with anyone else

There is no such thing as a negative emotion. Some of them got bad reputation because people chose inappropriate actions to express those emotions.

Thoughts really don’t have that much power, the power lies in the emotion behind the thoughts.

We want to learn to allow life to flow through us and remain in our ease as it happens whichever way it happens. At the very basic cellular level whenever something happens that we don’t like we want to move away.

Healthy mind/healthy masculine comes up with all the reason why you can feel it NOW and he wants the feminine emotional body to feel it now. The unhealthy masculine finds all the reasons why you can’t do it now

Healthy ways to express and move emotions: hand scream, power stomp, tantrum, pillow hitting (with forearms), grief ritual, pillow scream, pillow thrusting

In the state of release of emotional body comes the place of being fully present, fully aware and totally out of control where the magic happens.

Essenes of tantra – follow our desire and witness ourselves in the following the desire. For that we require absolute presence.

To elicit more and more presence from the client when you ask them for confirmation and agreement get them to look you in the eyes and give a sound YES.

Tell them “if anything during session is painful or uncomfortable physically or emotionally at any time please let me know” – get a sound YES

Being intellectual is positive. What is negative and unhealthy is when intellect is being used to undermine presence and detach from feeling the feelings.

The path of a shaman is to move out of the ordinary reality where we all have our life experiences that form our beliefs which then determine how we see the world and act in it. Instead we use a set of tools to create an extraordinary reality where we choose and create and recreate our own experiences (perfect loving and supported conception, gestation, completion with anyone we have had issues with in ordinary reality, etc) which reprogram us on all levels and create new beliefs and then act from these new beliefs and this new extraordinary reality in the world.

4 types of sex:

1. Procreational – for continuation of the species, I.e. Having babies.

2. Recreational – fun, bonding, creation of intimacy, etc

3. Rejuvenation when we use sexual energy and direct it to different parts of our body for healing and longevity.

4. Transformational – using sexual and life force energy to connect with the divine, to download universal wisdom, etc

Activate the solar channel by getting active and doing some physical action to balance out the lunar channel and quiet the thoughts and “get out of our head”

Replace the word balance with the word integration since balance brings up a lot of wrong connotations and get people stuck in striving for balance. (balance is like a tight rope walker constantly adjusting and moving from one side to another, not a static point one needs to achieve)

Chakras are located at the intersections of circumnavigating solar and lunar channels which twist around the spine, which contains our main channel.

John Bradshaw “healing the shame”

Your internal relationship between masculine and feminine is likely to be a reflection of our parent dynamic.

Wounded feminine and unhealthy masculine have a codependent relationship

The job of consciousness is to pay attention to the result of the the beliefs you are holding (shamanic practice of stalking) taking responsibility for everything in our life including the parents and family circumstances. Everything that is happening I am creating it happening. You are not blaming yourself, but taking responsibility. As we come into power we are stalking ourselves : where does it show up in my life? We are stalking our own shadow. The unconscious piece that does not get we are doing it to ourselves

Shaman uses: Sweetness, patience, cunning , ruthless. So when stalking shadow we don’t beat ourselves up when we see it show up, we are kind with ourselves (sweetness), we patiently wait for the right moment to come in, for that teachable moment and then we come in and strike to eradicate it. Carlos Castaneda work reflects stalking.

Whenever we are not in our ease, stop and check and see if you are stuck in a story in our head.

Being a shamanic guide is about teaching people how to stalk by demonstrating how you stalk yourself.

Whenever I think someone is abandoning, not loving, doing whatever to ME I need to bring it back to myself – where am I doing these things to myself.

It is nobody else’s job to take care of me, it is my job to take care of me.

If the healthy divine masculine has not been Integrated in me, the powerful goddess (divine feminine) is not going to show up. It will only show up when it is safe.

Divine masculine witnesses without judgement, holds space and creates safety.

When we are triggered in a relationship, we stop to feel the feelings and bring ourselves back to ease and only then engage in conversation so it is not charged. This way we hold space for ourselves to show up as well as the other person to show up, feel what is going on for them and come back into communion.

Even if they are being emotional, pushing negative and being angry, apologize for them having their feelings “I am sorry this is so hard for you, that you are experiencing so much stress over it”

Authentic processing happens in the body, belly and heart. These problems can not be processed and solved in the mind since they were created by the mind.

The more we step into our power, breath and feel, then our shit is going to come up, we are reclaiming our emotional body and stuff we never allowed ourselves to feel is coming up. So we now need to move through backlog of emotional suppressed stuff before we can truly live in our power.

Castrating mother: she does not trust the masculine to support her so even if the husband tries to step up and support she will squash him. If she has a little boy then she will subconsciously communicate to him that he will only be loved if he does not show his masculine thus creating the “sensitive new age guy”

Deborah Anapol “7 ways of love” “polyamory in 21st century”

States and stages. First we have a peak experience (state) which is a taste/reference point to a new stage of consciousness. We then need to use whatever tools and practices we have to move towards this new expanded state consciousness. We have to be careful not to make any of those tools or practices into an addiction. Addiction is anything we do that keeps us from feeling our authentic self.

Fully aware, fully present and totally out of control – living in the divine grace.

We can’t move straight into the space where we can assist others in reclaiming our desire. First we need to learn to truly feel and satisfy our own desire (aka be totally selfish for some time) and only then we can open up and feel into our greater desire, that of the larger whole, that of other people.

During love making women energetically unconsciously pull on the man’s seed due to:
1. biological procreation need
2. Psychological self assurance need of “yeah, I can make my man come”
Women need to learn to circulate the energy, breath, tune in to their partner’s body and consciously change this energetic dynamic.

For men advice on gaining more control over their ejaculation: slow down and take a deep breaths during love making, exercise pelvic floor muscles (20 reps 3 times a day), when you are about to ejaculate quiver and shake your whole body to have en energetic orgasm instead.

Daoist teach a practice circulating arousal and orgasms up through their body.

Love the whole body during love making, not just the genitals.

Pelvic heart system teaches more about energetics of sexual energy, various energy centers and ways of controlling and directing.

For women orgasm is largely an energetic thing so if most or all of her previous partners were physically oriented this might produce difficulties in orgasm.

A good screening question: “imagine yourself in the future after we had several sessions together. What is different about you now, what has shifted for you?”

Annie sprinkle has a list on her website on how to avoid burnout

Make sure to network with other practitioners and trade sessions and help heal each other. In the age of old the priests and priestesses supported and healed each other so that then they can come out and heal in the world.

It is all about bring conscious awareness to our own and our client’s actions, beliefs, desires, etc. From the space of conscious awareness change frequently happens automatically or we can then know what needs to change and apply appropriate tools.

Native American tradition to allow 4 days after deep transformational work to allow things to sink in, limit the amount of new input


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thumbnail Endlessly creative

Endlessly creative

Cheated today, left my “morning” pages till the very evening. But it’s...
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thumbnail In the present moment

In the present moment

Hello morning pages, it has been a while. I was going to put you off for another day...
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thumbnail Transforming pain, guilt and shame into pleasure – Dark Eros course notes

Transforming pain, guilt and shame into pleasure – Dark Eros course notes

My course notes from Dark Eros course. I recommend reviewing John’s video...
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thumbnail What is Tantra?

What is Tantra?

I have asked myself and some friends “What is Tantra?” and got the following...
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thumbnail Expanded state of awareness

Expanded state of awareness

And so it is, gratitude video number 2! All about the expanded state of awareness...
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thumbnail Tantric day

Tantric day

Grateful for: Building another website after barely getting out of bed. Now I can...
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Orgasmic web design services

Grateful for: Finding a great compact kundalini workout on YouTube that I might even be...
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thumbnail Spiritual sexual shamanism course notes

Spiritual sexual shamanism course notes

Course notes from my month long spiritual sexual shamanism course.
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